Miss Fortune Cookie letters

Friendship, interrupted

Dear Miss Fortune Cookie,

In my group of friends there were four of us. One of them decided she didn’t want to be friends with us anymore and her reason was that I was bullying her; I wasn’t, I thought she was my bestfriend. She caused a big scene leaving the rest of us not wanting to talk to her.

It’s been 3 months and now one of my bestest friends wants to be friends with her again, and I’m not sure that I can be friends with someone who is friends with that girl that treated me badly.What do I do? 

Stuck

 

Dear Stuck,

Miss Fortune Cookie Says: The person who makes a scene is not a friend. She’s an actress.
 
I’m allergic to scenes. They discourage communication. If your ex-friend had not thrown a scene, you could’ve talked about what upset her. You might have seen each other’s point of view. Amazing! But now it’s a Chinese Opera with shifting alliances, and daggers unexpectedly drawn.
 
What a mess.
 
Your bestest-friend-that-wants-to-be-hang-out-with-your-ex-friend is key. Can you talk to her? If she understands that her move hurts you, she may change her mind.
 
I love to give people second and third chances. But true friendship is based on trust, loyalty, and mutual admiration. A friend should always have your back.
 
Miss Fortune Cookie
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Don’t be a bully, you jerk

 
Dear Miss Fortune Cookie,

This noob in photography won’t leave me alone. He keeps asking me dumb stuff like how to view his pictures. I keep telling him to ask the teacher, but he ignores me. How do I get rid of him?

Annoyed

 

WHAT MISS FORTUNE COOKIE REALLY WANTED TO WRITE, BUT DIDN’T:

Dear Annoying,

Miss Fortune Cookie says: Someone is speaking well of you. Because they don’t really know you.

The hallmark of noob-behavior? Calling someone else a noob.

In other words, it takes one to know one. I’m rubber, you’re glue. Everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you.

Miss Fortune Cookie

angry girl avatar

 

ENLIGHTENED ANSWER:

Dear Annoyed,

Miss Fortune Cookie says: Open your heart. You can always close it again later.

Be nice. Everyone is a noob sometime in their life.

Besides, maybe this noob knows how to view his pictures, but is looking for friendship or romance. Anything is possible.

Miss Fortune Cookie

fortune cat

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The Winner!!!

Congratulations to Mary Catherine Miller for winning the Be an Advice Columnist for a Day contest. She’s a doctoral student at Ohio State University working in Literature for Children and Young Adults. Check out her excellent blog, Travels with Mary.

And read her pithy and fun advice below:

Dear Miss Fortune Cookie,

I’m not short, but my girlfriend is taller than me. My friends laugh about it. They call me stumpy and pat me on the head. I don’t want to go to school anymore. Should I just break up with her already?

Taller Than Average

 
Dear Taller than Average,

Miss Fortune Cookie says: Long legs let the heron see more than the duck.

Don’t your friends know that the average height of a model is 5’11”? Tell them there’s no way you’re going to set them up with her friends if they keep patting you on the head.

Miss Fortune Cookie
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Be an advice columnist for a day–NEW CONTEST

Are you proud of being opinionated? Do you like to give advice?

BE AN ADVICE COLUMNIST FOR A DAY!

Ask Miss Fortune Cookie

WIN A SIGNED COPY OF MISS FORTUNE COOKIE PLUS GOODIES,
INCLUDING A $30 GIFT CARD

B&N gift card
giveaway

TO ENTER, write a response to one of the Dear Miss Fortune Cookie letters below:

Dear Miss Fortune Cookie,

My boyfriend and I have been together for one week. He’s amazing, and I don’t just mean his eyes and hair. He really listens to me. He gives me compliments. Now I wonder if it’s just an act! He brags to his friends after we make out. My friend showed me one of his texts! I want to kill him. But what if someone else sent the text to split us up? Lots of people are jealous of what we have.

Going crazy

Dear Miss Fortune Cookie,

My best friend and I share a locker. It’s kind of a pain because she is a total slob. If I throw out trash, she accuses me of losing her homework. Once she left half an Icee in there, and it spilled all over my social studies binder. I’d move out of the locker, but my friend just joined chorus. Now she has new friends that she can hang out with instead of me. What should I do?

Squeezed

Dear Miss Fortune Cookie,

I’m not short, but my girlfriend is taller than me. My friends laugh about it. They call me stumpy and pat me on the head. I don’t want to go to school anymore. Should I just break up with her already?

Taller Than Average

ALL THOSE WHO ENTER WILL RECEIVE A SIGNED BOOKMARK

Email your entry to lauren@laurenbjorkman.com
You can enter as many times as you wish.

CONTEST DEADLINE March 1, 2013

GOOD LUCK!

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Categories: Contests, Miss Fortune Cookie, Miss Fortune Cookie letters | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

Dad asks too many questions

Dear Miss Fortune Cookie,

My dad is driving me crazy. Whenever I bring a boy over, he asks a ton of embarrassing questions. Can you do your own laundry? When was the last time you changed the oil in your car? What’s your gpa? How fast can you run a mile? And if he doesn’t like the answers, he says we can’t go out. What should I do to keep myself from strangling him?

Sneaking Around

Dear Sneaking Around,

Miss Fortune Cookie says: A girl with one chopstick will go hungry.

Think of you and your dad as a team. He’s looking out for you, making sure you don’t end up with a loser—a slob that will expect you to do his laundry.

Start a conversation with your dad about what to look for in a partner. And—if you don’t care about how fast your boyfriend can run—share your feelings on the matter.

Good luck!
Miss Fortune Cookie

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tempted by revenge

Dear Miss Fortune Cookie,

My best friend stole my boyfriend. Now she’s going to prom with him. Is it wrong to give her mono by drinking from her soda can at lunch?

Tempted

Dear Tempted,

Can you really give someone mono that way? I wish they taught us useful things like that in bio. Seriously though …

Confucius said: Before embarking on a path of revenge, first dig two graves. Are you still friends with her? If so, tell her how you feel. If you are no longer friends, revenge won’t make anything better.

Miss Fortune Cookie

Excerpted from MISS FORTUNE COOKIE (Henry Holt, 2012)

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