You’ve got to help me. My parents are making me miss my friend Fiona’s minicamp to go on a boring family vacation in Mexico. They just don’t understand all the things I’m going to miss: makeovers, swimming, tons of junk food, rating cute guys. And inside jokes–so many inside jokes. Eighth grade will be totally ruined for me if I get kicked out of Fiona’s Five. I came up with a list of 34 reasons NOT to go, but that didn’t work (it just made my mom cry).
I need some serious help here–I’m either going to die of heat stroke in Mexico or be a total outcast when I get home. Please answer soon!
Kat (nothing like those vicious jaguars that live in Mexico)
What a disaster! Have you thought of a sneakier strategy than a list? Shakespeare said, “Look the innocent flower, but be the serpent under’t. Translation. A devious mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Here are some ideas:
3. Write a fake newspaper article about how the civil unrest in Chiapas has spread to the Yucatan. Email it to your mom.
2. Develop a rare illness. I recommend tiredness, slight fever (which can be faked in so many ways), and a sore throat that won’t go away. These symptoms cannot be disproved by a doctor (unlike lesions drawn on with a marker.) Of course, as soon as the plane tickets have been canceled, you heel miraculously.
1. Plant love letters around the house from your (fake) boyfriend in the Yucatan. Make the letters a little stalkerish and scary.
On the other hand, maybe you’ll meet the boy of your dreams in Mexico. And, to be honest, the Fiona 5 sounds a bit scary. Fiona must be just a bit megalomaniac to name the group after herself. Besides, you might want to get along with your mom, so that she trusts you by high school where the real fun begins.
Letter courtesey of Sydney Salter, author of Jungle Crossing http://sydneysalter.com
*email letters to Roz or Eva at firstname.lastname@example.org